Weblog
One person should find it funny, but I was just thinking of the lyrics "Say hello, and wave goodbye"
This crosses my mind as, if everything goes as planned, I'll be leaving my apartment in the next couple weeks for a new one in Bellevue. As far as homes go, I don't think I ever let myself feel like here was home. Since moving here, lots of bad things happened, and I think I associate it with this place, though the two aren't directly related. I'm liking the idea of a "fresh start".
It's that time of year, perhaps that time of life, and I'm a little excited. My closer friends have been going through major changes, with some getting married, and some having and raising kids. While I'm not there yet (or even close, considering I'm still single), I've still have plenty of things in my life change recently. Things will never be the same again, and it's kinda neat.
And God is faithful. I asked God a question a couple weeks ago. I must admit, I didn't expect and answer. But He did answer, and even challenged me. It should be interesting.
Oh yeah, and I might stop using xanga. If I do, I'll point to where I go. I just don't like it much anymore. I think I might go to wordpress or maybe just something using my website (I'll publish rss if I do it myself).
|
Wednesday, March 25, 2009 |
|
I was just looking through some documents, and found my church membership application (from last summer). It's probably pretty boring, but I thought I'd put a couple of the questions from it up here.
Briefly share how you became a follower of Jesus Christ.
I grew up in a Christian family, raised by Christian parents. My dad was raised in a very conservative church, my mom was raised in a very liberal church. As a result of that difference, along with other difficulties in making it to church (since my younger sister is autistic and has a difficult time in social settings, I didn't grow up in a church. While my parents prayed for me, and taught me the beliefs that they held important, they left me to discover my own faith.
I grew up calling myself a Christian and believing that God did exist, but, over time, I put all my trust and faith into science. I had always wanted to be a scientist since I was very little. Even to this day, I can be very passionate about figuring things out and solving problems. I had learned to put my trust into what I could see, measure, theorize, and understand. Even if I wasn't consciously doing it, I was beginning to question anything I couldn't.
The summer of 1997 (between my junior and senior years of high school), I had everything going for me. I had a girlfriend, a truck, and a little bit of spending money from a job I'd just gotten. One particularly nice day, I was driving to that job, which was about a half hour away if I cut through the country (longer if I went through town). As I came out of a turn, I saw an intersection ahead of me. There was an orange truck at the stop sign (I didn't have one the direction I was going). I wasn't worried since he had time. He cleared the intersection and a blue/green truck was behind him. I wasn't worried since it was obvious he wouldn't go (since there wasn't any room). He went.
Everything went really slow after that. My first thought was "Oh no! Not my truck!" (not that I was shallow, just my grandfather had given me the truck and it meant a lot to me). The impact was really hard and sent my truck (considerably smaller than the other truck) spinning down the road. I jumped out to make sure the other people were okay, which they were. But then I looked at my truck and it didn't make sense. The front of my truck was destroyed. Items inside the truck had flown everywhere. Yet I was fine. I didn't have a bruise or a cut or anything. In fact, I hadn't felt the impact myself during the accident (like everything was just going on around me, but I was sitting still). I wasn't sore later either.
When I asked my mom later about it, she said it was my guardian angel who had protected me. For the first time in my life, I had a question that science couldn't answer (and trust me, I knew enough physics that I tried really hard), but faith could. My eyes opened a little to things I hadn't considered.
My senior year was a transition. God worked on my heart. He also provided opportunities to get to know more about believers through my girlfriend at the time. In parallel to the journey I'd been on, she had been on a similar journey, and some of her friends invited us to various events at the Nazarene church they attended.
Labor Day weekend, a month or so before heading to college, we went to a play called "Heaven's Gates and Hell's Flames". I didn't understand it, but suddenly all of these pieces I'd scene up to that point all fit together and made perfect sense. At the end there was an altar call. The funny thing is that I felt bad because, while our eyes were closed, I stood up so that I could walk to the front, and I didn't want to leave my girlfriend there by herself. It's funny because I realized when I opened my eyes that she was also going up (right about the same time she realized I was). At the altar that night is where I accepted Christ as my personal Lord and Savior.
Then I went off to college. The relationship I was in ended, but we remained good friends (to this day). At college I found a church to go to, and was part of several fellowships: Collegiate Christian Fellowship (through my church), and Asian Christian Fellowship (through some friends that invited me) which was probably where I grew the most (and eventually became a leader).
Briefly share who Jesus is to you, and how He has made a difference in your life.
Jesus Christ is my personal Lord and Savior. He is the son of God (the Father), part of the Trinity (along with the Holy Ghost). He was born into vulnerable flesh as a man and walked this Earth, blameless, and then died for our sins so that we may be seen as blameless and have eternal life in unity with God. Our Lord is not one who watches us from a great distance, but one who is with us at all times. I believe prayer and worship to not just be a type of speech and a type of singing, but the open communication between myself and God (taking many forms). I feel Him with me wherever I go, even on the occasions I try to walk the other way.
I don't know if I can describe the difference He has made in my life since I can't imagine my life without Him at this point. He's growing me, as He always has. The future doesn't scare me because I know He is there with me.
Idealism in disparaging times
The world crumbles, suffering abounds
It's not that I can't see it
Reality and optimism duke it out
Idealism lost, hope lost
Faith... remains
Just some thoughts without form (I'm definitely not a poet). When I lost my job back in December, I realize now that even my idealism was [momentarily] broken. It felt a lot like my world was ending, not knowing what was next, not knowing if things would work out. I couldn't admit it, not even to myself, how much it hurt. The only thing I had left was faith. That and some people that really supported me (like my parents).
Now I know that the timing for me was a blessing, however hard it was to go through. I really like my new job, and I'm glad I got out of my old job when I did, and all of that happened exactly when it needed to. I do believe it was God's timing.
Then my friends got laid off (and it doesn't seem much better for those that remain). Then hundreds of thousands of people were laid off. Then the DOW spiraled down. Then...
I think I understand the difference between an idealist and an optimist. I don't expect things to work out well, but I would so love a world where they did.
My plan remains prayer. To pray for those that have lost their jobs, for those that have lost their homes, for those who are stuck in hostile working environment, for those who lost their retirement money, and for our leaders.
And maybe if we all pitch in together, we'll make it through this a little bit closer than we all were before. Then again, I'm an idealist.
Now that my computer is over three years old, it's starting to show its age a little. Since the proc/motherboard are still pretty decent, I decided to just upgrade it a little to keep it more current. The new specs: (may change a little before all done)
| Mother Board | ASUS A8N-SLI Premium | | Proc | AMD Athlon 64 X2 4200+ | | Graphics | MSI GeForce 9800 GT 512MB x2 (SLI) | | HD | WD Raptor 74GB (10k rpm)
WD Caviar 250GB (7200 rpm) x2
WD Caviar Black 500GB (7200 rpm) x2
WD MyBook (external) 1 TB
WD (external) 250GB
Maxtor (portable) 320GB | | Memory | CORSAIR 4GB (4 x 1GB) 184-Pin DDR 400 | | Power | 750w | | Network | 802.11n Wireless | | Displays | Samsung 24" wide aspect (1920x1200)
Envision 20" 4:3 aspect (1600x1200)
Dell 20" wide aspect (1680x1050) | | Optical | LG DL Blu-ray / DVD Burner + HD DVD Reader (external)
Sony DL DVD Burner
Hammer DVD Burner | | Periph's | HP DeskJet 5550
CanoScan 8400F
Logitec 5.1 Sound System
MS Digital Media Keyboard Pro
Logitech G5 Laser Mouse |
The stuff being added or upgraded is in the green. Almost everything was either related to performance issues (even WoW has been having trouble running), failed hardware, or data storage (I'll be using bluray for backing up data and for storing video files from my camera, which can be 10-20GB in size). Sadly, the new drives are replacing failed drives. All data was lost off of those, though it was labeled unsafe (meaning I didn't put anything on there I couldn't lose). I also lost both network cards, but wireless is working fine.
|
Wednesday, October 29, 2008 |
|
In the end of the spring, a few of us were sitting at Seward Park, soaking in the rays (on a rare, warm day), watching the boats go by in Lake Washington. A small group of volunteers came up to us and asked if we were registered to vote. It was actually really convenient since I'd been meaning to update my address. All but one person there registered.
A while later the paranoid part of me regretted it a little since those forms have info on them that might not be safe to have floating around, but I didn't see the Obama campaign (which I'm pretty sure the volunteers were a part of from what they said) supporting identity theft, so I wasn't too worried.
I do regret it now, but for a different reason. When you register to vote, there's a spot for daytime phone number. Since I didn't want to put my work number, I just put in my cell. It's pretty much the only place that cell number has been associated with me in any official record (as cell phones aren't usually listed anywhere). As "random happenstance" would have it, that same number that was on that form I entrusted with them is now getting daily calls related to the election (from the Obama campaign and the Democratic Party of Washington).
But maybe I'm paranoid. I mean yes, the first caller I got from the Obama campaign may have had a number I only listed on the form. And yes, they may have known that I registered absentee. And yes, they may have even known about when it was mailed to me. But that's not conclusive...
I'm hoping it's really my state that sold me out (and put me on a list when I registered) and it wasn't a certain campaign reading the voter apps before sending them out. But then again, I've only been receiving calls from one side of this election (although that could be more related to the fact that Obama's campaign budget is as big as Bush and Kerry's 2004 budgets combined while McCain's is much smaller -- something that confuses me when earlier campaign quips involved who had more money).
Paranoia will not sway my vote. Annoyance will. To be honest, the last week or two I'd just been considering not voting in the presidential election this time around (or voting for one of the minor parties for the heck of it) if anything because nothing about this election feels right to me. A few smug phone calls from a certain campaign, though, and that bubble is now filled in.
As a note, on the local campaigns, I ended up looking more at track record, voting record, personal beliefs, and amount/type of mud slinging. The mud slinging was actually a big factor. There were the typical ads against policy, specific results and initiatives, and basic job performance. Those I don't mind too much (since they're also pretty easy to fact-check on). What really started bothering me were attacks on the personal beliefs of candidates. Certain candidates lost my vote the moment I saw an ad endorsed by them that attacked the beliefs of candidate.
And my last note is just a related disappointment. I was really happy to see recently that Microsoft started what I consider to be one of their best ad campaigns they've ever run. It's fun because it plays on the "I'm a PC" fun that Apple has, but also addresses what Windows really is: the tool of the masses. It's not elite like Apple, and doesn't need to be. But then Apple came out with new ads attacking Microsoft for having ads (let's ignore the hypocrisy for a moment). To me this comes off as petty and pointless. Microsoft takes Apple's stereotype of them and uses it to creatively play to its strength in a positive campaign. Apple takes the defensive approach and attacks this new campaign. Does someone at Apple really feel threatened enough by the new Microsoft campaign that they have to attack it? Seriously? I see enough smear campaigns on TV right now from politicians, I really don't need to see if from the company a good portion of my electronics budget goes to.
|
